"His name was Jason. Today is his birthday."

If you thought the onscreen action was gruesome in the new Friday the 13th, you ought to see the evisceration it's getting from the critics at Rotten Tomatoes. "Unoriginal" and, more damningly, "not scary" seem to be the most common complaints. The lack of a plot is a foregone conclusion, I suppose.

I hadn't dug too deeply into the movie's background before my previous post on the subject, but in light of the "not scary" criticism I'm not surprised by one find: That it's the product of the same Michael Bay production company that produced the remake of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. That is, the same people who took a chainsaw-wielding, human-skin-wearing maniac, a family of cannibals, and R. Lee Ermey, for God's sake, and managed to make them boring.

Ah, well, I'll always have my memories...