Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Merry Christmas from a grumpy agnostic.

The Pogues and Sinead O'Connor singing "The Fairytale of New York":

Saturday, December 20, 2008

And as long as I'm being a total nerd...

... let me just add that Superman could smack around the entire cast of Mortal Kombat by himself and make them eat bugs.

Not that he would.

Because he's Superman.

My dream: A goalie mask crushed under the wheel of a '67 Impala.

Slasher flicks are not my favorite type of movie. They regularly feature threadbare plots meant only to act as vehicles for the graphic massacre of attractive young people.* The villains are implacable and unkillable, almost a metaphor for the uncaring world that is out there waiting to chop teenagers up in a less literal sense. Maybe "villains" is too strong a term for monsters this simple. They're murder machines, the consequence phase of perverse morality tales, existing only to dispose of errant human beings in new and creative ways.

This isn't to say that I won't watch one. In fact, thanks to the tastes of friends and family, not to mention the fact that often - even in the era of hundreds of channels - there is absolutely nothing else on, I've become enough of a Friday the 13th expert to win a trivia contest centered solely around Jason Voorhees' nighttime activities.

So I'm coming to accept the inevitable that, sooner or later, I'm going to watch the next installment. Adding to that inevitability is the presence of Jared Padalecki, who in the trailer looks like he just stepped off of the set of Supernatural for an afternoon's filming.

Ah, but there's the rub, isn't there? I've always been a fan of the monster hunters more than the monsters, and seeing young Padalecki up there, I can't help but think of what might have been.

I'm not enough of a sadist to suggest that Padalecki play his Supernatural character forever, but come on. If you're a fan, you can totally picture Metallicar pulling up while Jason watches in camera-eye view from the woods. If any piece of fictional real estate screams for the attention of the Winchester brothers, it's Camp Crystal Lake.

But I guess distance from the show is kind of the point for Padalecki.** After all nothing says "see, I'm an actor, not a badass monster hunter" quite like playing a corpse-in-waiting in a horror franchise. Look what it did for Sarah Michelle Gellar. After Buffy the Vampire Slayer died its death, she was totally able to take her film experiences from Scream 2 and I Know What You Did Last Summer and parlay them into the role of Daphne in the Scooby-Doo movies, where she now hunts monsters and kicks butt with karate in a totally different way than Buffy!

Sorry. The urge to sarcasm is sometimes irresistible.

I'll admit that my whole "When Jason Met Sam and Dean" scenario springs from the same part of my fanboy brain that considers such weighty matters as: "Who would win in a fight - Ghost Rider or The Creeper?" And it's within that realm of comics that I'm most likely to have this crossover dream of mine come true. DC Comics holds the license to both Friday the 13th and Supernatural, so if the respective properties' lawyers are willing, maybe Jason will get his visit from the hunters yet.

* - For those same young people to engage in activity perfectly natural and vital to the propogation of the species on camera is an obscenity beyond all mention, of course. Meanwhile, decapitation and dismemberment only rate a hard "R" rating. But that's a rant for another day. Or me just being a dirty old man again.

** - I'm just assuming here.

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Monday, December 8, 2008

The Greatest Rock Video in the Known Universe

While meandering about the blogosphere, I had it put to me that the greatest video ever is Bonnie Tyler's "Total Eclipse of the Heart". To which I say: "To hell with you, Mr. Gets-Lots-of-Hits-and-Comments Guy!"

Because this, in truth, is the greatest video ever:

Do the math. It all checks: Joan Jett + power chords + bikini + boxing gloves = All That Is Good and Right with the Universe.

The bikini and boxing gloves are vital components, because they help me to forget that this song is actually a cover from The Man From Planet Ick, Gary Glitter.

Thursday, December 4, 2008

Putting our heads together.

So as of yesterday around 6 PM Second Life Time, Conan and I are in charge of things at the gym until Karine gets back.

While the circumstances that led to this turn of events are not what I would wish to happen in anyone's life, I know that we're both aware of our responsibilities in regard to Averlast. Conan and I work well together, I think, and our areas of responsibility in the gym are divergent enough that we won't be stepping on each other's toes.

I know that a lot of people were not happy with the previous management. All I can say about that is that most of you know me and Conan. Take this post as a hand extended, asking you to come back. You know who you are.

That said, we've got big weekend plans set up already. Tomorrow both the lightweight and middleweight titles go on the line in a special event, and on Saturday Averlast is proud to participate in an event for Fighting for Fighters, a charity set up to help retired and injured boxers and fighters. It's set up by Averlast's own Abbiee Benazzi and Smash Lane, and incorporates virtual world technology as part of its program.

Averlast couldn't be prouder than to be associated with FFF, and I hope that all of SL's fighting promotions are of the same mind.

So in the words of Stan the Man: Face front, True Believers! The best is yet to come!